(A collection of starts gathering dust. I often think I will come back to pieces when I leave them partly written. Here are three examples to the contrary.) 1. It's loud in here today, I text K. She knows that I am not speaking of the white noise of an office background going about a… Continue reading What I left uneaten at my table
Tag: anxiety
Voided/Rewritten
“I feel like a fraud” I desperately say, caught in a web of fear. New loss, old loss, future loss - all weaved together, I am centered in it. “I talk about hope and joy one day, then to be on the verge of complete panic attacks the next day? I feel crazy and like… Continue reading Voided/Rewritten
Combustion, Combat
My stomach has been tight with fear today. It's been building all week, a fire slowly being stoked right underneath my chest cavity. I've tried to ignore it, but fear has a sneaky way of slipping through the cracks. I have learned over the past years that pretending my house isn't on fire doesn't keep… Continue reading Combustion, Combat
Nightwatch
My anxiety runs high today - I can feel it physically in my chest and pause, trying to observe. I can't tell if I should ignore it or move around or eat something or practice breathing or continue doing what I'm doing right now, which is a lot of things, but could also be described… Continue reading Nightwatch
Now We Are Beginning 