Combustion, Combat

My stomach has been tight with fear today. It's been building all week, a fire slowly being stoked right underneath my chest cavity. I've tried to ignore it, but fear has a sneaky way of slipping through the cracks. I have learned over the past years that pretending my house isn't on fire doesn't keep… Continue reading Combustion, Combat

Weapons & Gifts

I am pulling old Christmas decorations out of storage, boxes that haven't been moved since the moment they were placed there seven - or is it nine - years ago when we first moved to these apartments. My sense of time is iffy at best and I never quite know what events fall where on… Continue reading Weapons & Gifts

Silent alarms and birthday songs

(Originally written and posted on Facebook October 8, 2017) Last year, it was on Saturday. We had no grand plans of celebration - it was just the two of us and a shared pizza and it was exactly as it was supposed to be. There was a man with a guitar and a microphone and… Continue reading Silent alarms and birthday songs

Falling Together Again

On the day before my one year anniversary of sobriety, I turned to Caryn and said "I'm afraid no one will come." We were outside on a smoke break at work, and I was referring to the sit-in that was happening that night. What I understand now is, I really meant "I'm afraid I'm not… Continue reading Falling Together Again